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As Christian educators, we know we are building for an eternal purpose. God is all about building loving, caring relationships with us. He came to earth to restore relationship with us through the sacrificial death of Jesus, His only son (1 John 4:19). When Jesus walked on earth he demonstrated the need for caring relationships through investing in the lives of his disciples and others. In 1 John 4:7-10, he encourages his followers to not just love in words, but in actions. And, as you'd expect, the research strongly supports the need for caring relationships for a healthy, well-rounded life. So the question is: if relationships are eternal and are vital to healthy living, why do we find it so difficult to be intentional about them? The answer most often given is "we just don't have time for one more thing." But what if it's not about doing one more thing but rather doing what we're already doing differently, as the Cultivate book says? This article will attempt to give you some simple, yet practical ways you can build cultivating relationships into your existing daily routines.

I am the Principal of a small Christian school in Madison, CT, called Shoreline Christian School. We started the year by reading the Cultivate book over the summer. When we returned in the fall, we started going through the DVDs during our monthly teachers' meetings. We agreed to try to build more caring relationships intentionally throughout the year. By starting with a look at our daily schedules to see where we were currently communicating with others, we were able to then see if there was a way to enrich that time and make it more meaningful. Here are four things we have begun to do that I hope will be helpful to you as you seek to overcome time limitations in your own school context. We are not perfect, but we are on the journey together.

1. Post it on the wall. We use our office bulletin board to post a monthly theme that helps to unite us and keep us on track. This board helps to emphasize caring relationships. The heading reads, "Shoreline Christian School is Cultivating:" .A loving relationship with God [September], .Respect for God's principle of Individuality [October], .Relationship building through unity out of diversity [November], .Christian Self-Government [December], and .Discipleship through Mentoring Relationships [January]. Each month a different class takes on the responsibility of the board. They share how they are learning to cultivate caring relationships through loving God, others, and themselves. Parents and families read the board and can join the community of care that we are building together.
2. Model it over lunch. I try to sit with a different group in the lunchroom each day of the week to try to build caring relationships. I talk to the students about what they are learning and how their personal lives are going, and I just ask open-ended questions and listen for how to connect in more authentic ways. The students look forward to this time together. This also releases the teachers to have a few minutes of downtime so they can rejuvenate before the afternoon classes and even sit with a co-teacher and cultivate caring relationships.
3. Teach it to the students. We encourage students to connect across the grades in the lunchroom and on the playground. For example, we have the fifth graders sit with the kindergarten students to help them open their milk, heat up their lunch, if necessary, and just help out. In this way, the older students are learning to share their time and talents with their younger classmates, which helps both groups to feel loved and cared for. We're also teaching the children to be sensitive to the needs of others on the playground. If they see someone who is playing alone, we encourage them to go and talk things over to be sure he/she is okay. Teaching this sensitivity to the needs of others does not take a lot of time, but it is a vital part of building caring, loving relationships.
4. Build it into the schedule. Another way we build caring relationships across the grades is through a program we call "Buddies, Barnabas, and Team 8." Each week the middle school students use one study hall to go into the elementary classrooms to build caring relationships with the younger students. They read stories, do arts and crafts, play on the playground, have a snack, and share a Bible story or devotional time. These times are a highlight for the students who participate in them. The younger children have the chance to spend quality time with a peer who is just slightly older and the middle school students get a chance to practice Christian leadership in practical ways. All the children benefit from this time and it only takes thirty minutes a week out of the work schedule. It is a precious and valuable way to use our time to focus on eternal matters, such as authentic relationships.

These are just a few simple ways we have found to multiply the time we are given. We never have enough time to add in all the things we feel are important, but relationship building is vital to the life of a healthy individual and the life of a Christian school that is really trying to follow the Great Commandment to love God and others (Matthew 22:36-40). After all, that is the heart of the matter and what sets us apart for God's glory.